1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,837 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,922 [belches] 3 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:08,633 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,010 [dogs barking] 5 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,302 D'oh! 6 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:15,056 {\an8}[beeping] 7 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,152 {\an8}♪ Bowl me to the moon ♪ 8 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:32,031 {\an8}♪ And roll me to the stars ♪ 9 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,157 {\an8}Hey! 10 00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:39,955 {\an8}♪ This is more than just a game For big fat dopes in bars ♪ 11 00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:45,377 {\an8}♪ No, for lazy guys this is a sport ♪ 12 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,922 {\an8}[scatting] 13 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,385 {\an8}It's today. 14 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,553 {\an8}It's today! 15 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:55,721 {\an8}What day is it? 16 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,805 {\an8}Saturday. 17 00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,058 {\an8}It's today! 18 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,769 {\an8}Oh! 19 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,731 {\an8}[gulps] Whoopee. 20 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,275 {\an8}Move over, Los Angeles and Philadelphia. 21 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,902 {\an8}It's Springfield's turn 22 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:14,865 {\an8}to have its drunken sports fans climb streetlights and burn down the town. 23 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:19,078 {\an8}That's right. Finally, after years of phantom fouls and butt fumbles, 24 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:23,123 {\an8}one of our beloved local sports teams, the Pin Pals, 25 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,209 {\an8}have made it to the state championship. 26 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,462 {\an8}With Springfield's years of failure at sports, the arts, 27 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,090 {\an8}and our disastrous toddler boxing tournament, 28 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,800 {\an8}it's no exaggeration to say 29 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:37,596 {\an8}that our super bowlers are garnering tremendous "pin-terest." 30 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:38,597 {\an8}[chuckles] 31 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,932 [♪ rock plays] 32 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,309 [crowd] Yeah! 33 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,478 {\an8}Yeah! 34 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,107 {\an8}Finally, strikes I can support. 35 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:52,361 Mayor, you've been accused of being a fair-weather fan for this team. 36 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:56,240 Not true. I am a dyed-in-the-wool fan of these... 37 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,324 Bowlers. 38 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,408 [screams] Bowlers? 39 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,869 Really? People still do that? 40 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:04,039 So you don't mind that they say you're jumping on the bandwagon? 41 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,001 Let me just say no one jumps later or harder than I. 42 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,295 To the "Pin Heads"... [mumbles] 43 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,631 Pin Pals. 44 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,968 [♪ "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" playing] 45 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:20,639 [presenter] And now, your heroes, the Pin Pals. 46 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,266 [cheering] 47 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,809 [chuckles] How ya doin'? 48 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,310 Marry me! 49 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,146 Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. 50 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,774 Anyhoo, I could never have made it without my very good friends, 51 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,026 Homer, Carl, Flanders, 52 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:36,906 and that new guy from Portugal whose name I forget. 53 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,325 [in Portuguese] I SEE THIS MATCH AS A STRUGGLE 54 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,287 FOR THE GREATER GLORY OF ALL. 55 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,539 [whooping] 56 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,291 [cheering] 57 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,293 Yeah, he don't speak the good English or nothing, 58 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,420 but he sure as hell can roll strikes. 59 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:55,299 And he's got a very hot sister, or girlfriend or mother. 60 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,551 It's really hard to tell. 61 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,387 [speaking Portuguese] 62 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:03,599 All right, based on my experience, that is not his mother. 63 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,227 Ah, I just want to say we aren't just doing this for us. 64 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,981 It is going to mean the world to this entire town! 65 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:15,485 Excuse me, but I don't see how the town possibly benefits from this. 66 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:19,156 We'd be helped a lot more by a traffic light on Elm Street. 67 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,574 Boo! 68 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,493 Smack him with his bone! Smack him good! 69 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:25,412 Ah, my friends and neighbors... 70 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,998 Reluctant neighbors. 71 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:32,336 Ah. The... I'd just like us to bow our heads and thank-- 72 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,963 Stupid Flanders turns everything good into church. 73 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,591 Just once, can you not mention God? 74 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:42,012 All righty then, let me just say way to go, big guy in the sky! 75 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:45,349 And his son Jesus Christ. Amen. 76 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,517 Jesus is God's rod. 77 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:48,727 [chuckles] 78 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,771 Jesus is God's rod. 79 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,565 [chuckles] Blasphemy. 80 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:58,028 And now, "O Captain, my Captain," Homer Simpson. 81 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,780 [cheering] 82 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:05,244 There's one word that defines this team, and that word isn't "can" or "might." 83 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,913 That word is... Um... 84 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,832 Wait a minute. Cards out of order. 85 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,502 Can't read my own writing here. 86 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:17,423 Oh. Okay. It's "will." Yes, we will! 87 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,468 Let's go, Pin Pals! 88 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:25,515 Win that title! 89 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:30,353 Let's get pickles! 90 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:32,729 All right, folks, break it up. 91 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,899 Unless you're jerkin' a gherkin, go on home. 92 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,864 [grunts] Oh, Homie, today was magnificent. 93 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,158 I always thought bowling was just an excuse 94 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:48,036 to get away from the kids and drink a lot of beer. 95 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:50,539 What? No, never. 96 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,623 What? 97 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,293 But now it's made the whole town proud of you, 98 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,253 and I'm part of the town. 99 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,922 So this comes from the heart. Ugh. 100 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,966 I can't say it. I don't wanna say it. 101 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,011 You can't make me say it. And I won't say it or even think it! 102 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,430 Oh. Thank you, Son. 103 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,974 I love you all. Water my plants. 104 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,767 You don't have any plants. 105 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,020 Then we're good. Bye. 106 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,826 Ah, ain't this the life? 107 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:31,955 {\an8}Whirlybirdin', full can of soda, two bags of peanuts. 108 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,373 {\an8}I never known such luxury. 109 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,542 {\an8}I could die right now a happy man. 110 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,419 {\an8}[pilot] This is your captain speaking. 111 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:41,256 Please buckle up as we attempt to clear the treacherous mountain peak. 112 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,425 [screams] 113 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,138 No worries, every chopper in town takes this route. 114 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,519 [alarm buzzing] 115 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,606 Overweight? How is that possible? 116 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:01,610 "Pilot, five passengers, five 14-pound balls." 117 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:06,448 Uh, I wanted a little extra oomph, so I actually brought a 16-pound ball. 118 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,577 Me too. By which I mean I brought two 16-pound balls. 119 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,913 Anyone else wanna brag about their balls? 120 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,206 I mean, seriously. 121 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,795 Fausto bring this for good luck. [whoops] 122 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,463 [alarm buzzing] 123 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,132 I'm gonna have to put her down on the mountain. 124 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,094 Of all the times to be sober. 125 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,346 [whimpering] 126 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,432 This could be it. 127 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,435 At least I can say goodbye. 128 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,270 - [Marge] Hello. - Marge. 129 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:40,482 [Marge] We're not home now, so please don't rob us. 130 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,608 Leave a message. 131 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,610 [sobs] Listen, Marge. 132 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,946 We've had our arguments, we've had our things. 133 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,366 But thank God I have the time to tell you how I really feel. 134 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,368 - [automated voice] Mailbox full. - D'oh! 135 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,704 [alarm buzzing] 136 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:55,790 [alarm blaring] 137 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,549 Whee! [groans] 138 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,013 As your captain, one thing is clear: 139 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,682 we must get off this mountain. 140 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:17,937 And I'm no expert on mountains, but I say down is this way. 141 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,566 D'oh! 142 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,279 D'oh. 143 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,491 What the... 144 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,201 [Carl] I wouldn't leave just yet, Homer. 145 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,829 Our new friend there still hasn't woken up. 146 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,206 Oh, God. Spanish-what's-his-name. 147 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,877 It's Portuguese-what's-his-name, you idiot. 148 00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,879 Chief, is there any word? 149 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,172 Afraid not. 150 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,884 Apparently they knocked out a cell phone tower on the way down. 151 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:49,843 Wait, wait. 152 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,763 Ah. Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah. 153 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,139 [door opens] 154 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,142 Oh, thank God, man. I was starting to lose all hope. 155 00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,896 [in Italian accent] Oh, you hungry cops put my kids through college. 156 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:01,980 Seven sisters. 157 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,192 Not the women's colleges. I have seven daughters. 158 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:09,446 Gia, Mia, Pia, Bia, Zia, Iphigenia, 159 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,283 and then Emily for some reason, I don't know. 160 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,203 [Ned] Mmm. Still barely breathing. 161 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:21,416 [sighs] If the Lord could carry his cross, I can carry this poor soul. 162 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,293 [Homer gasps] Well, look at that. 163 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,880 Flanders risking his own life to save another. 164 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:27,965 Wow. 165 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,300 Homer, can you get my water bottle? 166 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,636 No. 167 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,223 [phone ringing] 168 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,308 A phone! Someone's got cell service. 169 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,809 Hello, Moe speaking. 170 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:43,230 Hi. I'm looking for a Mr. Simpson. First name, Homer. 171 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,773 Oh, I recognize that voice. 172 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,775 You ever call me again, you little puke, 173 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,237 I'm gonna cut you up, use your intestines as violin strings 174 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,947 and play Flight of the Bumblebee. 175 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,407 I'm gonna go Rimsky-Korsakov on youse. 176 00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:56,743 I'm just trying to find my dad. 177 00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,454 Yeah, right. Try looking in hell, hell boy. 178 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:00,872 [Bart] ¡Ay, caramba! 179 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:05,001 Moe, you idiot! You were the only one with cellular service! 180 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,836 [grunts] What have I done? 181 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,421 Oh, me and my anger issues! 182 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:12,300 Dr. Rubenstein's gonna be so disappointed! [grunting] 183 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,802 [rumbling] 184 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,428 [mutters] Stupid avalanche. 185 00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,139 [beeps, line ringing] 186 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:25,146 No connection. And it's almost night. 187 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,275 [sobs] I feel so much regret. 188 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:32,070 I never got the chance to tell my son I loved him. 189 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,906 Never? You're 87 years old. 190 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,075 Oh, it's on my to-do list. 191 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,287 Take a look. See? 192 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,414 [strains] 193 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,710 {\an8}Still no sign of the missing bowlers. 194 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,461 And one thing I must say now, 195 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,673 there is nothing a newscaster loves better than missing people, 196 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:56,428 be they on a mountain, in a submarine, or preferably deep under rubble. 197 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,762 Even if we know they're dead, 198 00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:01,808 we'll keep it quiet for a few days just to keep the ratings up. 199 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:05,771 {\an8}And now tonight's lotto, which no one ever wins. [chuckles] 200 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,648 No! [echoing] 201 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,443 Why am I talking like this? [echoing] 202 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:15,531 I'm not falling, just clinging to the edge. [echoing] 203 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,241 Oh, man, that was close. 204 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,618 How deep is that thing anyway? 205 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,829 Only one way to find out. 206 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,042 [bowling pins clatter] 207 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,337 Gentleman, I fear we're starting to hallucinate. 208 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,005 That's crazy talk. 209 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,299 Barney, pick up the spare. 210 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:37,887 [bowling pin clatters] 211 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,555 Listen to me. 212 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,849 Time to get your cuckoos back in your clocks. 213 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,976 We're approaching the point of no return. 214 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,312 Flanders, how do I put this? 215 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,189 I was thinking I might wanna... 216 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,399 Oh, this is so embarrassing... 217 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,317 Pray. 218 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,904 There are no atheists in foxholes. 219 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,198 Oh, yes. Foxes are very religious. 220 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,282 I'd be praying 221 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:02,327 if a bunch of guys in red vests on horses were trying to kill me. 222 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,080 Now, make with the "Our Father." 223 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,125 [presenter] Still no word on the Springfield team. 224 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:12,755 Please observe an anticipatory 60-second moment of silence. 225 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,760 [bowler] Wasn't me! 226 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,471 Strike. 227 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,350 My friends, if we just have faith in the good Lord 228 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,813 who blew us to bits on the side of the mountain, we'll be okay. 229 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,482 Hey, Churchy Joe, tell that to my piggies. 230 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:36,069 The word "frostbite" sounds so cutesy when people get it at Buffalo Bills games, 231 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,405 but when it happens to you... [grunts] 232 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,825 Well, I think things will be just fine. 233 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,703 Really? And who made you "Optimist Prime"? 234 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,206 I broke open my first aid kit. 235 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,124 [all gasp] 236 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,084 Anybody else holding out on anything? 237 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,002 Like me with these two bags of peanuts, 238 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,716 which I'm gonna eat right now despite my peanut allergy. 239 00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,885 [swallows, gulps] 240 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:05,224 See this? This is the face of a survivor. [chuckles] 241 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,435 Uh, Christmas decorations? 242 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,270 Uh, in October? 243 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,022 We've done everything we can to help your father, 244 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:17,611 so I thought this would help us feel better. [sobs] 245 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:23,409 Bart, they say a kid is only as happy as their saddest parent. 246 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,959 Zoom in on the heartbroken family. Zoom, I say. 247 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,963 No, I can't. I didn't go to journalism school to be a ghoul. 248 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,007 I went because it was an easy major. 249 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,803 Take your soul and get the hell out of local news. 250 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,347 Fausto not good. 251 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,600 My friend, we will get you back, 252 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,895 and then you and I will have a grand old time. 253 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,481 - I hear you silently agreeing. - [mutters] 254 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:58,318 We'll go fishing and make s'mores and we'll be best friends. 255 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:02,614 You're a Catholic and I'm a Christian, but we'll work through that. Oh. 256 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,073 More silent agreement. 257 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:07,661 Here, my friend, let me set you down so we can talk about our great future. 258 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,623 Save your breath, pal. He's dead. 259 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,584 No. No, he's not dead. He's just resting. 260 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,836 Oh, Lord, you can't be this cruel. 261 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:17,921 Sorry, man. 262 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:22,175 I knew he was a goner a while ago, but I liked watching you carry him. 263 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,718 We were gonna make s'mores. 264 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:26,096 Now they'll just be "s'nothing." 265 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,057 Poor Fausto. Poor Flanders. 266 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,850 You really tried, man. 267 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,519 Aw, I mean it. 268 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,604 I'm not just hugging you because you're warm, 269 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,189 although that's a big part of it. 270 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,607 You're a good man. 271 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,567 Homer, I knew you had a heart. 272 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,861 Just like the Cowardly Lion. 273 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:45,365 He always had a heart. What he lacked was courage. 274 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,909 And the Scarecrow lacked straw, right? 275 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,410 He was nothing but straw. 276 00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:53,122 Wow. I'm looking at everything with new eyes, 277 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,791 just like the Tin Man. 278 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,377 That's not what the Tin Ma... 279 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,587 Look, just give me another hug. 280 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,216 All right, gentleman. There's a subject we need to discuss. 281 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:06,261 Now, we've waited long enough. I'm just gonna say it. 282 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,848 It is time that we resorted to cannibalism. Mmm. 283 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,100 What? No, absolutely not. 284 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,060 I'm not saying we eat him. 285 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,563 I'm saying we prepare him to be eaten. 286 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:20,692 {\an8}If he gets frozen, we'll just end up with junk food, like his hair or his toenails. 287 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,776 What? 288 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,028 Stop, stop, stop. 289 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,530 [clucking] 290 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,283 Just give me a wing. Come on. You got two, come on. 291 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,202 No eating people. 292 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:41,254 [Ned] If I eat these and don't share them, it breaks every value I have. 293 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,632 But just thinking about it also means I've sinned. [sighs] 294 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:48,428 I must say, it's a lot easier to have this debate with my mouth full of matzo. 295 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,305 - Flanders? - [gulps] 296 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,682 - Yes? - It's so clear to me now. 297 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,309 You're the better man, Ned. 298 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,395 Oh, that's not true. You've got the highest average on the team. 299 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,022 I'm nothing compared to you. 300 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,650 Have you noticed I haven't called you Stupid Flanders once on this mountain? 301 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:05,069 What do you want, a Nobel Peace Prize? 302 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,989 Sorry, sorry. I really do appreciate it. 303 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,743 Just that I've come to realize I'm not a natural leader like you. 304 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,621 The Lord has a time and a place for everyone, my friend. 305 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,832 Homer, if the high altitude hasn't turned your brain to mulch, 306 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,667 would you like to lead us in prayer? 307 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:25,424 Heavenly Father, who art in truck stop. Ping-pong. Rock. Zipper. Jambalaya. 308 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,091 [groans] 309 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,426 [Homer coughs] 310 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,510 Now, don't worry, 311 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,430 just 'cause one of us has a tickle in his whistle doesn't mean... 312 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:36,560 [coughing] 313 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,980 We're in the tenth frame, people. 314 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:45,402 If you want me to eat youse later, just say nothing. [sighs] 315 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,873 Chief. Any news? 316 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,376 About what? Oh. Right. Um... 317 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:05,129 Marge, with conditions as bad as they are on that mountain, 318 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:08,925 even if they somehow did survive the crash, uh... 319 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,135 Oh, how can I put this gently? 320 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,639 What do you mean, "gently"? You basically told me they're dead. 321 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,225 Will you please leave my family be! 322 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,852 [sighs] Never easy being a cop. 323 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:21,437 Then why did you become one? 324 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,148 'Cause I look great in blue. It goes with my eyes. 325 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,650 Your eyes are black. 326 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,235 Well, I've wasted my life. 327 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,320 [grunts] 328 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,947 Patty and Selma? 329 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,449 Oh. This day couldn't get any worse, 330 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,827 is what my dad would say if he were alive. 331 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:41,040 Marge, dear. At a time like this, all we wanna do is sit and hold your hand. 332 00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,502 No talk, just love. 333 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:46,838 I did wanna say one thing. 334 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,132 Better get your booty shorts to the cleaners 335 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:53,261 because you're gonna be the most popular widow on the pickleball circuit. 336 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,804 He's not dead. 337 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,848 Well, we can't be sure. 338 00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:01,602 But we did use generative AI to make an image of Homer as a corpse. 339 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,689 To get you used to the idea, dear. 340 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,819 Some of these we had even before the crash. 341 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,988 He's not dead. He's not dead. 342 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,991 In fact, I bet he's even gonna save the day. 343 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,075 [both cough] 344 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,994 Can you excuse us? 345 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,329 We need to go outside and laugh. 346 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:23,166 [wind whistling] 347 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,709 [Homer] Oh. Is this it? 348 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,879 My story ends now, buried in the snow, 349 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,091 frozen alone like broccoli in my freezer? 350 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,053 My dear Son. 351 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,929 Are you ready to join me? 352 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,849 I am, Mommy. Take me to the good place. 353 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:44,020 Mmm... [sighs] That's not exactly where I am. 354 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:48,441 They are very hard on former left-wing radicals in the afterlife. 355 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,609 What are you saying? 356 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,862 I'm in a place with a lot of incredible people. 357 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:58,159 Machiavelli, Che Guevara, Casanova. 358 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,287 Casanova. Oh, Casanova. 359 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:05,876 I thought dying in 1798 would keep me from being Me Tooed. 360 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,128 Um, um... 361 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,841 Mom, what are you making? 362 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:17,053 All of your father's favorites for when he comes back. 363 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:22,725 Pork chops, glazed ham, fried hooves, snout surprise. 364 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,394 Oh, I can't be in the same room with that smell. 365 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:28,148 Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. 366 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,029 [Homer] Hey, someone's cooking. 367 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,281 Marge is cooking. 368 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,992 I can't die here. 369 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,035 My family needs me. 370 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:46,500 My story is still being written, and the next word in it is... [screams] 371 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,919 [strains, grunts] 372 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:51,839 You're coming too, friends. 373 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:05,352 Hidilly doodily, saviorino. 374 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:09,773 For once, Flanders, you owe me. 375 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,739 Homer Simpson. [sighs] 376 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,199 What can I say? 377 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,995 He slept through mass, he'd floss with a Bible ribbon, 378 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,832 I'm afraid he leaves behind no good deed to remember him by. 379 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:32,671 Just another fat pinball slipping past God's flippers. 380 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,506 Here's something the church never heard of: 381 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,009 a guy coming back from the dead! 382 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,010 [all gasp] 383 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,845 God bless him. 384 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,681 My bald, beautiful boy. 385 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,685 No good deeds, Reverend? I've got a new one for your eulogy. 386 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,188 Thank God for Homer Simpson. 387 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,856 That's my dad. 388 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,442 Suck it, other dads. 389 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:59,740 You miss two birthdays and a school play, and suddenly you're the bad guy. 390 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,330 I knew you'd make it back. I knew it. 391 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,081 I knew it. 392 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,709 You were wrong. You were wrong. 393 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,086 And you were wrong, preacher man. 394 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,005 Just premature. 395 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:20,009 I knew he'd make it since five seconds ago. 396 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,888 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow He's now a jolly good fellow ♪ 397 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,682 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 398 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:31,062 ♪ He totally didn't die ♪ 399 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,357 Simpson, I always knew you had it in you. 400 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:38,528 That'll do, Flanders. That'll do. Oh. 401 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,959 {\an8}I'm alive. I'm alive! 402 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,086 {\an8}Well, you don't have to make a meal out of it. 403 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,671 {\an8}[whooping] 404 00:20:56,672 --> 00:21:00,383 {\an8}♪ For he's a jolly good fellow He's now a jolly good fellow ♪ 405 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,427 {\an8}♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 406 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,139 {\an8}♪ He totally didn't die ♪ 407 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,123 Shh. 408 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:32,958 [bowling pins clattering]